Justletithappen

eruhamster:

this show is so quality 

i fucking love gumball

(via killorbekillian)

spudsexuall:

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin”
-After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human”
-After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket”
-Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call
-One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake. 
-After spooning me: “You have a nice butt”
-”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying)
-”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying)
-Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue
-One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue
-One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence
-And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

(via forgave)

justasweird:

delindaarts:

roll1uptwice:

Placing the cup up against ya forehead was the cheat code

Me every time I walk into a waiting room

(via forgave)

dankmemeuniversity:

(via pinkiepiehole)

fat-mabari:

serendipiteaart:

omnybus:

lilyachtyismyfriend:

neyruto:

Cowboys are witches and horses are their familiars

guns are their wands and they only know one spell (bullet)

Rootin’, tootin’, toil n’ shootin’

Fire burn and cowboy bootin’

Eye of newt and spicy beans,

Toe of frog and denim jeans,

Whiskey, grits, n’ demon spittle

tossed into my iron griddle

With the tannin’ of our hides,

Somethin’ wicked this way rides

Not that anyone asked for this but

everyone asked for it they just didn’t know they did

(via killorbekillian)

me93:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

deserttigermuarim:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

lil-lit-bit:

cryingexercises:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

Me, in Ancient Greece, tying my sandals and pretending I don’t know that swan checking me out is Zeus:

me, an ancient greek, knowing that some thot is about to send hera on another murderous rampage

Me knowing the baby zeus just put in her is gonna have a hellish life because she got thotty with Hera’s man

Originally posted by moan-s

I’m a dude, LMAO. :p

It has come to my attention in the notes that Zeus’ monster thundercock would probably still get me pregnant anyway, and you know what? You’re absolutely right!

Me, going to Mount Olympus to pick up my alimony checks from Hera, cause Zeus is out being a thot with someone else after I moved on to some cute, horny Satyr:

Hera smiting you as soon as you appear there:

Me, walking right back into Olympus after I convince Zeus to give me some thotty job like cup bearer or whatever so Hera can’t touch me:

this post makes me thankful that the world didn’t end

(via orange-plum)